I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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