Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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