the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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