If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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