I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize