Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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