I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so let's talk penis.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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