The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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