just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize