i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
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