She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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