haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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