this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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