at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize