My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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