"it" just moved
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize