You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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