doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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