it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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