How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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