my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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