I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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