Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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