The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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