What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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