i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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