I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its about making memories worth repressing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize