I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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