well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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