I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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