I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize