We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize