it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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