Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize