It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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