found the other keg... it's in the tree
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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