sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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