I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize