i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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