and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my poor anus
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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