Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Fuck appropriateness.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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