I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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