She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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