Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize