Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize