I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
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Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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