I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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