Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize