i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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