my phone needs a breathalizer
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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